As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
