To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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