I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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