i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
