i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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