Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
