I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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