i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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