Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
