My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
