Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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