Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
