we're blogging at a bar
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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