Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
