shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
