does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
