How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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