i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
