My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
