4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
