He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
