So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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