She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
