I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
