I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
