The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
