I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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