I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
