i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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