Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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