It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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