i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
