I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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