so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
