Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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