I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
