he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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