when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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