My nipple is on Facebook.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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