wakey wakey hands off snakey
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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