i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
