those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Randomize
