you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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