I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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