Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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