let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
