If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
