is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
