his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
