so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
